yeahh, it is a bird and the bird is already in the artroom even before we stepped into artroom.
What's so special about it?
I think it green wings is so pretty! hahas!
and normally when people walk near a bird they will fly away,
but a whole group of us crowd around it, it didnt fly.
It stayed in the box for a long time after flying into it after ridzuan tries to carry it out of the classroom.
When i left the artroom, it is still in the artroom.
Hahas! It like the atmosphere there huh?
Maybe the previous life of the bird is an artist!
hahas! ^^

today i went school with a foul mood.
and tired too.

did a dumb SS 'test' today!
which i didnt studied at all, cause i thought the class already did it on the day which happened to be im absent.
why i called it dumb?
it is because, we were timed for 5 mins for each paragraph,
yeah, the teacher really took the stopwatch from the hp and time and also countdown to let us know the time left.
& 5 min is like not so enough for each paragraph but, i did manage to complete it on the last sec.
And we did like 3 paragraph!
My wrist are cramp by the time we end. -.-

Also went to the chem lab to do experiment today.
Did it all by myself without teacher explaination or anything.
Today, Im very careless and blur.
Cause the qns says, Add a solid{i forget what already} to Solution X.
Then i went to add X to Solution X. -.-
and that my last 5cm 2 of solution x and im too lazy to do all over again to obtain solution X.
SO I GAVE UP! hahas!
and happily do my next experiment. -.-
Naughty wanyu go spray water on the back of my shirt. 0.0
I want to call the police and catch wanyu!!! hahahas.
just kidding.

during math lesson.
Mrs cheng didnt come so, Mr azhar took the class and he didnt makrk our test paper!
So we have to mark it ourself!
I failed again! Could pass you know???
I fail by two marks, and i lost 3 makes by careless mistake.
First mistake : Suppose to convert to decimal i convert to percentage!
Second mistake : 5 +3 =7?????? wth.
Third mistake : i forget to convert to standard form. -.-
I can pass the dumb paper! wth wth wth wth!
and when Mr azhar is going through the paper,
my class guys were like laughing like crazy people for crazy reasons.
Not very nice to say what they were laughing about, cause it is quite sensor! lols.

hahas. end school with a much much much better mood.
Hope no one will spoil my mood today. Hahahahas!
okay, Olivia is waiting for me to chat on msn ~
hahas!

Many people asked why i look so upset and restless this few days.

it is because i have been thinking alots this few days.
and while i think, im starting to hate the present kelly now, or rather KAILI.

i just felt im totally changed person,
Someone who is always pretending to be someone im not.
Always pretending to be nice to other people and helping other people..
Although, being nice or helping other people is a good thing to do, but, it is just not so me.
because, im feeling that even to those people that i dislike, i have to pretend to be nice.
AND those people are going overboard for my nonchalant attitude toward things they did, and somehow it makes them think it is the right thing to do and starting to take things for granted.
Toward school friends or outside friend are all the same.
I just feels that im always not allowed to say how mispleased i am
because i doesnt want offend people.

and i shall admit im someone who is very image concern.
Im very afraid to throw 'face' in public. VERY VERY VERY afraid.
Sometimes, I do get irritated when people throw my 'face' when they are with me.
And i dont like people do no image action when with me. PARTICULARLY, I HATE IT!
Because people who dont know me well will think im like that person so no image which im not!
I know im very fake when it come to image, but, this is me? and of course, i wont go jumping around like a monkey and acting like a kid anymore because im already 17!

and, somehow i dont understand why some people just isnt appreciative, it is not that i think i should be appreciated when i do something. Just that when they do something for you, they just expected you to appreciate them as if they are like god. if not, they will repeat and repeat what they did for you! I dont need people to appreciate what i did though, because bbt's HIRO say do good deed for people dont need to show out then god will reward you.

i dont know lah.
this entries concern many many people which i cant be able to list out.
This is just what i think from the bottom of my heart which in reality i could not be able to express out what i feel.
& i certainly hope that no one will come asking me about this lorh.
If you think i might be writing about you, you might as well as think why you think im writing about you, need not me to say too much le. i really got nothing to say anymore.
Just treat it as i dont wanna face reality bah. Cause it is just too difficult already.
I have no confident and courage to look into this problem.

anyways, thanks someone for listening to me when im frustrated and sharing your story too.
Oh well, all i can say is TOLERENCE IS MY VIRTUE, but soon, it will not le. Cause, my tolerence is limiting. And Im getting fed up already. REALLY REALLY!
and i got a lot better things to do. (:

So bored being at home and tired too!

Currently listening to songs for a quite new girl group BY2 's album.
A pair of 16 years old twins with nice vocals and pretty too!
Their songs is like damn nice.
Especially Bu gou cheng shou!
and i watch their performance on bbt before, and they can really dance!
and and and most importantly,
THEY ARE FROM SINGAPORE!!
hahahas!

anyways!anyways!
im using my new computer already!!!!!!!~
wahahahas!
But, i had to download the stupid fonts/ photoshop brushes and pattern all over again!
and can you believe it, i spent two hrs +++++ just to save all my hubby pictures! and spent another 2 hrs just sorting out my pictures.

and i actually sat infront of the comp around 1.30pm ytd to almost 2 am just to save everything back! tsk~
and still something seems missing in my comp!
-.-

I noticed i haven't blog since thursday!
was tied up with school works and other stuff which made me super tired...

im sick and tired of school, but 3 more months it will be over! (:
so i shall work hard for this three months!

Now, im looking at the screen of my new computer!
it is like FINALLY my comp is delivered to my house!
The screen is 22inches or 25? i cant remember lah.
But, it is so nice lah!
hahahahahas!
I finally can put MAOMAO back to my desktop wallpaper!

okay lah, i need to go get change to go out already!

ANYWAYS!
REMEMBER TO VOTE FOR WUGEREN TONIGHT!

super tired after being hyperactive in class today!
must be the seaweed chicken plus super spicy sambal chilli which make me hyperactive!
hahas! chilli makes me awake you see. hahahas!
and it is like super spicy!

until now, im too tired already.
but now im eat oyster meesua with many many chilli again. hahahas!
got to be awake...
cause going out later.
hahahas!

today is a spicy day!

这么办？
我感觉我好像因为男生对其她女生好而感到吃醋.
不知道是不是这男生的注意力不在我身上了而感到不习惯.
他关心的话好想也不见了.

看到他跟别女生说话就会感到不自在.
就不是很喜欢咯.

我为什么会这样呢？
他也不是我理想对象型!
因为他我赶到不自在好几天了！

我看我还是去多看看毛毛的照片调试一下心情！
因为毛毛还是我的理想对象啊！

啊~
烦啊！

I said i will upload more pictures about yesterday.
ta da~






Woohoo! The most lovable 5a2!! (:

Very adorable right? HAHAHAS!

Me and Chermaine! (:

Chermaine; Ridzuan LOVE Huda ; Me.
WAHAHAHAHAS!
Yeah! They are really a pair!
And Yongkian behind trying to be funny!


GIRLS VS BOYS! ((:


Funny picture of the guys lah.
What funny about it?
The two guys at the left is damn gay lah!!
hahahahhahahas!

The failure of acting dao. -.-


hahahas.
got more lah. but, lazy to upload already!

Today is a damn tiring day.
Had art lesson,
paint the canvas as usual.
finally paint finish one tin again.
i left with 3 more tins, 2 horse leg, 1 tree and the foreground to paint.
8 lesson left. just nice.
hahahas!

shall take a picture of the canvas which i paint on friday! (:

We celebrate Racial Harmony day today.
Thanks to Hafizah who lend me the tradition costume. hahas.

Took many many picture today!
So, lets the pictures do the job, im too lazy to type already! hahahas!



With Huda CHOO~

with Baby Haiqal

Me and Haiqal and Azfar.

Me and Hafizah.


With Wanyu Madam! (:

with Huiching!!

With Eleena!!!


With Simjun!

With Priya.

With Junda! (((:

Still got many pictures with Chermaine.
Update when i get it!

Yawns.

Came back right after school again.
so bored.

Actually suppose to go for SB today night as hirohiro will be going.
But, aint feeling that well to do so.
Feeling so sleepy now. -.-

Went shopping today with my sister to go take a look at the HMV in heeren and buy my diary book at amk hub.

Ate Pin si in amk hub.
the food there is quite delicious! (:

then bought a diary book for my hubby{HAHAS!!} birthday present.
also bought a post it pad and a card. i notice i like pandas a lots!

after that we went to heeren's hmv.
actually i thought dont have as even china dont have the stock.
then my sister suddenly say ehhhs! when she saw the ep of erjun!
wahs, when i see the EPs, i felt very touched until almost cried.
not exaggerating, im known for being emotional!
just felt that it is so nice to see their EP being sold in SG.
and plus plus, i have waited so long to see one for my hubby's works in sg!
waited for 1years plus already!
and long for him to come to sg also.
My sister say she will chase with me if they come cause she like yeshou and aben!
and im thinking if i really see maomao in person what will happen to me?
i think i will touched until cry bah!
my sister bought the zhainan ep, while i bought gongzhu ep!
and it is very ex lor, $30.95 each! wth!
hahahahas! the reason i buy is i cannot leave hmv without my gongzhu ep!
super tempted to buy once i see it!
but it is okay lah, im willing to pay because it is hubby ep!
since i love him so much, i dont mind paying more and it is the 1st batch in sg!

ahhs~ super happy to get their EPs. heh heh!
wanna cry liao.

As i said i will blog about GONGZHUBANG AND ZHAINANSHU EP!

公主幫: BEN [阿本], Modi [毛弟], Bete [野獸], Shawn [小馬], David [翰獎]
宅男塾: Terry, Louis [小祿], Bato/Toro [鮪魚], Peter [李銓], Toothpaste [牙膏]



公主徹夜未眠 is my favourite song in the whole EP{ alright! only 3 songs in the EP!=.=}
Super loves the song lyrics.
They are like princes singing for their princess. aww.
*starts imagine to be MAO's*
And MAOMAO gots his solo parts in the song!
SUPER NICE!!!~
During his part, got the feel.
hahahahas! Tell me why i love him so much?
And the other guys sang pretty well too especially yeshou and ben!!

LYRIC

管它几点 只要你说想要见面

我的白马 随时听候你差遣

如果月圆的美难治好你失眠

我要让它夜夜挂在你床前


王子不怕累 陪你每一夜

等你靠在我胸前 香甜的入睡


每个黑夜 无声世界

风声跟心跳 催眠的音乐

夜色的美 衬着你的脸

城里的灯火 和你一样美


夜幕低垂 我的公主彻夜未眠

故事情节 半夜都为你上演

满天星星揉着它们惺忪睡眼

所以忽明忽灭陪我们聊天


王子不怕累 陪你每一夜

做你温柔的守卫 安全的堡叠


每个黑夜 无声世界

风声跟心跳 催眠的音乐

夜色的美 衬着你的脸

城里的灯火 和你一样美


每个黑夜(不怕累) 无声世界(每一夜)

风声跟心跳 催眠的音乐

夜色的美 衬着你的脸

城里的灯火 和你一样美


每个黑夜 无声世界

风声跟心跳 催眠的音乐

夜色的美 衬着你的脸

城里的灯火 和你一样美




This song is a remake of an old song! This is the cuter version though.
And the front part of the kia kia part is said by my beloved mao!
because of that i kept repeating can? lols.
He is so so so cute in there!
AND in this song, MAOMAO have many many part to sing!
most of it is sing with my another love,yeshou!



This song is super duper nice as well.
i like Louis more after listening to this song!
He can sing really really well!
This song give me a very xin fu feeling like someone will alway be there for me!
HAHAHAHAS! *imagine things again!*
i going to buy both gongzhu and zhainan ep!



Another song by 宅男塾!
Quite nice song too!
As usual, Louis did great and
Bato too, he has quite a number of parts!
But, this song gave me a very 台 feel, must be because there is yagao!
hahahahas!

I wanna buy both gongzhu and zhai nan ep! (:

Again, i just got back from school.
Today had physic, pe, english and math lesson.

did practical for physic.
the reason i go school is for practical lah.
haha! i miss 3 practical during the holidays already.
and practical are fun. better than books!

PE.
took the damn height and weight.
got heavier already lah. a few kg.
but, i grew taller!! hahahas!
im 167cm now which is 2 cm taller!
after 5 years, i finally grew! hahahas!
Im the tallest girl in class yea? lols!!
so proud of it! hahahas!
and played volleyball for 10 mins plus.nice to play lor!
maybe we can play next week again!
simjun hit the ball to the gallery! hahas! so funny!

english and math lesson was bored.
was talking about prom night.
yeah, i might be going.
but, my class dont seems to be enthu about it.
i ask around, it is like only 6 people showed interests about it.
so sad! i really want to go prom night with my classmates!
should go and psycho them to go!

that all about today.
going to blog again later.
About GONGZHUBANG EP and ZHAINANSHU EP.

I got the songs already and also upload to imeem already.
Changing my blog song to another song, 公主徹夜未眠.
Super love this song!

Just got back from school.
feeling quite tired suddenly.

today in class,
i thought about maomao.
was wishing maomao could come quickly.

and i got an idea for his birthday already.
quite lame to think it so soon as his birthday falls on 10 oct.
still quite long.
but, his birthday present will take quite long to do though.
yeah yeah.
hope the thing i doing will turn out good. (:

and i really really hope maomao can get into erjun.
then he can come singapore soon after the album is release.
and after speaking to yuinhwei about the autograph ep.
i decided not to buy the autographed ones.
cause, it is rather easy to let them sign when im going to taiwan.
yeah lor.
so if i wanna buy, i buy the non autographed ones can already.
and im excited to hear from yuinhwei that FM933 actually have their songs already!
so cool! that i can dedicate their songs!
yeahs! yeahs!

AHHHHHHHHHS~

I want my gongzhubang EP badly!!!!!
very very very badly.

went to search on net of the preorders.
most of them were closed already!!!!
arghh!
but, i did found two.
one sells non autographed, another is autographed.
Autographed is selling at 40 bucks while the non autographed is selling at 25bucks.
WWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHS~

im too broke now already.
cause, there are so many upcoming important dates which i need to spend money on.

I REALLY REALLY WANT THE AUTOGRAPHED ONES!
I saw the autograph on the pictures which really tempt me to buy it. 40 bucks!
BUT, IT have MAOMAO signature! and yeshou ones! and of course the others!
Got the FEEL! hahas!

>.<
I really really want it!
REALLY! REALLY! REALLY!

Was addicted to songs sang by Superjunior M.
Let me give brief introduction of Superjunior M, it is a sub group of Superjunior which sings chinese songs.
It is a 7people group which consist of 5 suju member, HanKyung, Ryeowook,Donghae, Kyuhyun, Siwon and two new member Henry and Zhoumi.
There is three chinese in the group, Hankyung, Zhoumi and Henry.
However, Henry dont speaks chinese, He is from Toronto thus, he only speaks english.

and expecting the other korean member to sing chinese song, it is quite tough
but, their pronunciation is damn good. especially Kyuhyun.
But, i listen to their songs because of Hankyung!
He is a chinese thus, singing in chinese is easier for him.
And i super like this song because, he have many parts to sing!
I like Marry U the most!
The Korean version of Marry U, Hankyung only had two sentence to sing as Superjunior consist of 13 members.
But, this chinese version have only 7 people and he is chinese of course he got more part to sing!! hahahas!
And Henry despite only speaking english, he sang well too!
as least, he sang all the rap part well! hahas!
I dont understand why people want Only13 in superjunior.
But, i dont like zhoumi lah even though, he can sing quite well.
I like Henry!
But, Henry seems too young for superjunior. Around my age i think.
However his violin skills is power lorh! He play the violin solo for dont don!



H：LOVE~OH BABY MY GIRL~
你是我的全部
甚至让我觉得你是我的幸福
神给我的礼物
透过时光机就算 回到上个世纪看幸福结局
不管你是穿着旗袍还是长裙
只要一个眼神确定 心不再怀疑
茫茫人海相遇

贤：我想不惜一切告诉你
千言万语不敌我爱你
Would U Marry Me?
向着流星 默默许愿
默契永恒不变
庚：每当你微笑进入梦乡
多想让你靠在肩膀
Would U Marry Me?
希望你能成全 我所有心愿

源：把你烙在心底 I DO
时时刻刻爱你I DO
就算狂风暴雨 不让你受委屈 I DO
爱你的心不离 MY LOVE




海：美丽的你穿着白色婚纱
我穿着礼服光着脚丫
我们就这样看着彼此发呆
星星月亮做伴I SWEAR
不需要语言 用心体验
再不离开我的公主 STAY WITH ME

H：哪怕有一天我们变老
也要努力微笑并肩跑
周：Would U Marry Me?
不知是否愿意 来牵手同行

旭：不管爱情多艰辛I DO
相信命中注定I DO
我珍惜每个和你的日子里I DO
把你放在心底 MY LOVE

贤：我早已经为你 预定了幸福结局
我正为你许下誓言 别怀疑
推开你爱情的心门
让我们记住最美时分 Would U Marry Me~

海：把你烙在心底 I DO （旭：I WANT TO DO ）
时时刻刻爱你I DO （旭：I WANNA MARRY U）
旭：就算狂风暴雨 不让你受委屈 I DO
爱你的心不离I DO

合：不管爱情多艰辛I DO(贤：我会永远保护你)
相信命中注定I DO
我珍惜每个和你的日子里I DO
把你放在心底 MY LOVE
(Rap)
海：现在能给你的是我一生一世无尽的爱
虽然钻石闪耀它无法比较
也许微不足道 但是请相信我
我会付出全力照顾你陪伴着你
这是我们守护的约定
我对你爱不离
我们彼此信任相信爱
仅此而已...

庚：我们相爱到永远I DO

Another song,
爱你爱你(Love Song)by Superjunior M also very nice.
It is a very very sweet and cute song.
Especially when Ryeowook sing it, he is the perfect person to sing this song!
He is way too cute already!
And the lyrics of the song is so sweet!
One of my favourite song already!




庚：你的笑瞬间倾心 让我一见钟情
迷失了自我 I don't know
我想要爱你 I know
海：心情忽高忽低 怕自己没有魅力
明明正在看着电影 心却想着你
贤：我要发现奇迹
你的地心引力 让我不由自主靠近
周：我要飞向天际 向全世界宣布我爱你

合: 爱情的魔力
随便你 耍心机 发脾气
源：爱你爱你 对你一心一意
合: 我会保护你
不管你 在北极 意大利
H：爱你爱你 只想陪着你

源：童话中浪漫故事 竟会成为现实
是不是梦境 I don't know
但确定是你 I know
旭：结束朋友关系 向幸福努力继续
爱情的频率 I don't know
全力奔向你
庚：无论何时何地
空气中弥漫着 我们相爱的气息
贤：我要飞向天际 向全世界宣布我爱你

合: 爱情的魔力
随便你 耍心机 发脾气
H：爱你爱你 对你一心一意
合: 我会保护你
不管你 在北极 意大利
海：爱你爱你 只想陪着你

贤：我也许不聪明 但却真心讨你欢喜
周：我宁愿变成你的遥控器 天天在你手心
每分每秒都沉浸在甜蜜




旭：爱情的魔力
随便你 耍心机 发脾气
爱你爱你 对你一心一意
合: 我会保护你
不管你 在北极 意大利
贤：爱你爱你 只想陪着你

合: 爱情的魔力
随便你 耍心机 发脾气
爱你爱你 对你一心一意（旭：对你一心一意 wo~）
我会保护你
不管你 在北极 意大利
爱你爱你 只想陪着你

my toothache got better.
not pain anymore.

but, now im down with flu.
arghh, and i just got better from cough which lasted 3 weeks.
tell you what?
I am damn lazy to go school tomorrow.

and tonight,
im left all alone at home.
>.<

when to watch sb ytd,
was bored.
because, there isnt any group i like but, i do admire tuzi and sanyue.
tuzi is very special in the sense that even without a good vocalist,
people will still like them and they are unique. (:
and
sanyue is a good band too. the vocalist's voice is POWER lah. hahahas!

actually the main purpose i go for sb ytd is to see wugeren (5people), they went to watch.
and my hirohiro actually said he will be going to watch,
but, at last! he didnt come because of his judo lesson. -.-
nicholas also not around, he went oversea for competition.

so, left with sangeren ( 3people )
kwangyueh is damn funny can?
He is the laughing machine, laugh at everything even it is not funny.
and he is the highlight of the group lah.
seem like many people like him the most in the group.
but, not me though, i still like hirohiro and jonathan the most.

and jonathan is also the funny one!
he is 2 day younger than me! tsk!~
he looks like the three year guy to me. side view! totally the same bah!
tsk tsk~ no wonder he is one of my faves too.
but, it is because, this guy is very fun to be with. he is crazy~ hahahas!

and benjamin,
hmms, nv talk to him.
but he give me de feel is like benjamin lor. the one from css2 lah.
i think he should smile more, then good looking mah. hahas!

so lah, so much of wugeren.
even, im supporting them lah.
but, im not much in sb mood,
you see,
after all, my overall fave is still yixuanfeng and already got out.
the most, i will just go for their show bah. or maybe if im free i will go see my hirohiro when they report. but, they hardly report to mdc.

yah lorh.

TODAY,
Lesson as usual bored. Forever bored. Always bored.
Didn't have much lesson today though.
Had 3 lesson today, English, Chem and Social Studies.
And did worksheet instead of having lesson.
so quite bored.
but, i had be energetic for the whole day already!
keep walking around in class. hahahas!

but, now having bad toothache. wwwaaahhhhhhhhh~

OMG OMG OMG!
TODAY IS WEIWO day! hahahas!

JIANFENG & GAVRIIL makes me high!
Jianfeng chatted with on msn which rather shocked me.
Cause, i thought... ah! nvm.
Before he chat with me, i was looking at the weiwoblog and his personal blog and thought about last time.
and actually i do miss him too lah. (:

&& Gavriil is the one who really shocked me lah!
I guess he knew i really really misses him alots.

GAVRIIL SKAROS YOU ROCKS LAH!!

It is going to be weekend again!
finally.
had a quite torturous week.
cause, almost everyday i go out and slept late at night.
tsk tsk.

anyways,
i am missing someone badly.=(
and he is Gavriil Skaros.
Super miss him can?
waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh..

and and and,
wanna tell someone something!

HIROSHI KONDO, GAMBATTE NE!
who is he?
hahas. for you to guess! (:
know who is he de better keep quiet!

he is my silent love. HAHAHAS!
shhhhhh...

argh. just got back from school.
im so tired.
but, later i still need to go out and retrieve the haoying present back.

yesterday went to buy my new computer at court at tampine there!
22 inches LCD screen. wees~
500GB! WOOHOO! i can have space to put all my photos and songs!
crazy already. hahahas!

then we went ikea and giant to shop.
bought many many stuff
and walk until my leg cannot take it.
as you know i hate to walk! >.<

then i also signed up for the direct admission program to poly.
not completed yet though, cause, i havent finish writing my resume. >.<

Im able to choose 3 courses,
First choice I choose Flim, Sound & Video from Ngee Ann Poly
Second choice I choose Communication and Media Management from Temasek Poly
Third choice I choose Media and Communication from Singapore Poly.

All are almost the same type of course lah.
Just that, FSV there is no journalism which i dont really like and it is more toward production instead.

hope i could get shortlisted for interviews.
if i could get in poly thru DAE, i can slack abit in O levels not need so stress. >.<
but i got to start school in January instead of April. That means my taiwan trip must plan again already. hais hais hais!

hmms. just being woke up by my brother.
arghh!!

So checked my hand phone saw minghui sms.
Thanks minghui. (:
I'm not upset actually, just feel quite empty.

ahhhs...
how i wish i got many many money which i can spend on impulse then,i wont think too much about it.

i wanna go out but,
im sick of movies.
im sick of k box.
and i hate walking. >.<

Just got home from the outing with Terence, Ridzuan, Huda, Gabriel, Sean, Christopher and Baby Haiqal. (:

Watched Hancock at PS
and sat at a very lousy front row for 10bucks.
The movie was not bad to watch.
quite interesting though.

then after the movie,
we went to amk hub and huda left lah.
that means im the only girl. nvm, used to it.
actually say wanna go eat de. at last, they were like playing arcade. hahas.
when they finish their games,
finally i got to eat but, only left gabriel and terence with me,
we dont know what to eat which cause us to walk around amk.
but, at last we settle at food court,

after makan,
Terence and i went home lah.
leaving gabriel playing alone at arcade.
but,dont know why reach home awhile after i reached home. hahahas!
he flew home i think?
hees.

today,
wasnt feeling like myself.
seems very quiet.
because today is 5th july.
my mind was thinking about esle where.

Today shall be the last 5th july i will be counting.
but, i will alway rmb 5th july.

and and and,
now im very upset...
Raynard told me haoying moved house already.
like wth,
i spend time searching for the damn shop
and spend money on his birthday present already.
i missed him. ):

Just wanna share a little story of mine
and how this 3rd anniversary came about.

On 5th July 2005,
it was my SEC2 camp, and i met someone who is very special to me,
Even though, he is not good looking and is those bone-y type of guys then.
Something about him really attracted me and made me really curious about him
Even though,in my group, im always with my own group of friend like joesph and never actually talk to him through out the camp.
But, he made me feel very secured for no reason. how silly im then.

I remember when we were playing a game called survivor{/i think?}
we were to find food, water and create fire and shelter.
he was the one who created shelter which made me very impress at THAT TIME.
not now though, cause, now i remember the shelter he made is very very small.
which i find it silly now. hahas.
and for me, i hate to walk around so, i created fire, actually we dont really need to create the real fire just only need to act that there is a fire. But, i still created a fire, and i was asked by the instructor whether im from uniformed group. but, i said no, im from band which i thought it is quite lame..
but, that time i actually thought i could attract some attention from him.
through out the whole camp, the one i notice is only him.

after the camp,
i showed my interests to him with my friends.
and eventually got spread to his class and friends.
that time, he was in 2e1. the best class in the cohort that why i show even more interest in him cause i think he is really smart. Even though, he got into 3e3 the next year until now, i still think he is very smart, never study also can get my ideal results. >.<

okay, that not the point.
for two years, im made fun of by his friends.
but, i dont mind though, cause, at least, he will notice me and im rather used to it.
whenever i walked passed him, i will just walk quickly to prevent awkwardness.
when we were put in chinese class though banding, i really really hope we could be the same class but, im in grp5 while he is in grp4 and his classroom is like so far away from mine.
At the second round of banding, he got the same exam results for chinese as me then i still thought he might be the same class as me again. but, he didnt again. he dropped two class to grp 6 and i remained the same and the girls in my class when to grp6. only left me and jacelyn in grp 5. but, group 6 is opposite of my classroom. that why my chinese always failed i think.

until Sec 4.
i tried to pretend as if i dont care about him anymore
and i would sit far far away from him in order not to see him.
But, i dont know why. when i dont want to see him, he always appeared.
and i have to pretend that im not hurt and would walk pass him like nothing happened.
which i think i can act very well cause, everyone really thought i gave up on him.
but, it is just that, i dont want him to feel burden anymore.
i wanted him to be happier.
but sometimes, i would walk pass the soccer field which i loved to play soccer there just to take a look at him without getting noticed.
or during art lesson i would go out of the classroom and see him play soccer but, pretend to be spraying my art work.
sometimes, i would cry but, i would never cry in front of him.
i will only act brave in front of him.

then only time he saw me crying because of him is
when he is back to take his exam result this year.
i guess i just cant help it and i spoiled the plan of pretending not to like him anymore.
how silly...
i just thought i wont be seeing him anymore and felt upset.

but one day, he shocked me by smsing me to meet up.
i thought it was a prank actually and even discussed with my friends whether to reply him.
but, it wasnt a prank though.

So, when i met up with him,
that is actually the very first time i actually talk to him after 2 years plus.
and i actually spend 2 years plus for an hour with him. how silly right?
he said i wasted 2 years waiting for him. but, now it is already the 3rd year.
and i regreted that i did not tell him how i felt through out the 2 years.
and i even lied to him that i found someone better already.
but, that guy dont even exist.
why cant i just tell him how i felt
and pretending to be strong?

i missed the chance to tell him everything.
and there isnt another chance anymore.

but now, im getting over it.
even though, he is still in my heart.
but, i believe that it is just that i have not find someone better than him.
and i will one day.

even my people tell me that he isnt that good anymore or whatever.
but, in my heart,
he is still perfect. (:

and 5th July will always be an important day of my life.

Yesterday went out with Minghui to make Haoying birthday present.
Actually Peiyi and Kenneth bear also go de, then last minute cannot go.
nvm lor,
then stupid walk around bugis street cannot find the damn shop.
then gave up, we went to far east to make but, there only can spray chinese words.
but, it is done by a malay designer,
so im quite afraid it might not turn up what i wanted.
nvm, i got alternative if it is not nicely done. hahahas!

then went to hongkong cafe at cine for makan.
actually only minghui ate lah, i wasnt hungry.
yeah lor.

later, im going out with the Terence and gang to watch hancock.
this time must take picture with GABRIEL!!!~
because of his hair!! hahahahahahahahhas~

and today is 5th July.
UNHAPPY 3rd Anniversary~
will be posting another post up on the anniversary.

angry with myself now.
because, the registation of direct admission to poly is starting soon.
and, i saw the critria and that is got to use use exam result.
WTH~
i did so badly and didnt even study for the damn mid year paper.
and i got to use that for direct admission?
and i even failed my math! >.<

ahhhs~ my chance is get into FSV is small already.
even though i did meet the critria of 26 points.
but, this time is the worst exam i ever did in my 17 years of life.
cause, i totally gave up on it. HAHAHAS!

with the result, i wouldnt even try to think of getting shortlisted for interview.
ahhhhhs~ ahhs~
FSV so difficult to get in, cause only got 40 place.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHS~

>.<

HMMS.
just wanna say 2 more days to 3 years.
On 5 July 2005, i found him, someone i once thought is perfect.
now, still okay lah. hahahas.

although, feeling are quite faded already but, this day is really memorable for me.
I shouldnt say that i dont have feeling for him anymore, cause, im unsure myself too.
perhap, i just havent found someone better than him.

just wanna tell him,
you said i wasted 2 years earlier this year.
but, now im going say, it is already going to the third year.

shall blog more on that day lah.
(:

hmms, felt better already even though still feeling quite sad.
but, im happier now because, i finally bought my lollipop dvd.
&& watched the concert!!
super love pikachu jie~ hahahas!
and watched yesterday episode of bbt,
so glad that maomao is back being cheerful and hyperactive.
he seem quite stress during the past weeks of bbt which got me rather worried.
but, maomao now is back to be the cute him already!

and i finally got back the result slip for mid year after so long.
was commented as attentive student who work well with peers and someone who set clear target and strive to achieve them?
hahahahas!
i didnt know i was an attentive student in my form teacher mind.
i thought i often doze off in her lesson.
although i did set target for myself,
but, i dont seem that i am striving for it. hahas.

and say told me that i failed math and science which is important for poly admission so, i must work well be my SUBJECT TEACHER which is MRS CHENG for math.
then, i gave a expressionless face and walk away.
working well with mrs cheng seems so difficult for me,
she is even naggy than my mum! REALLY!
hais. dont like her. >.<

and,
especially for yixuanfeng,
no matter what, you guys are the best already.
even there isnt revival round but, i believe there are already better plans ahead for you guys.
you guys must work very hard in order to fulfill your dreams and prove to other you guys are the best!

你们最棒!

I'm still not in the good mood.
upset for 2 days already...

wasn't in the mood to attend school but, i still did cause,
my art is due soon in 17 weeks time
and i skipped yesterday art lesson already,
i cant afford to lose today art lesson.
but, seem that I'm rather unproductive today,
paint until very ugly cause,
my mind wasnt at my art work at all.

and today i had a math mock test which i didnt knew about it.
wth. disappointed with myself.
half of the paper blank cause, i dont know how to do it
plus, im drop dead tired by afternoon.
so, my brains cannot function that well.

and today i got frighten by a alarm i set early which says:
1 week to haoying birthday!

omg, his present i havent go make yet lor.
and still need to send to taiwan.
must chiong chiong chiong liao.
i miss haoying many and his bear hugs. (:

okay, im very tired already.
i shall go take some rest.

didnt attend school today,
wasnt in the mood and wasnt feeling that well to do so.
i think i cried too much yesterday, now my eyes are quite numb and still watery.
just cant stop think of it and after knowing why, i felt even undeserved for them.
Now, even MAOMAO cannot cheer me up.

just hoped there will be revivals for them even, jg say there isnt.
hais.