Just wanna share a little story of mine
and how this 3rd anniversary came about.

On 5th July 2005,
it was my SEC2 camp, and i met someone who is very special to me,
Even though, he is not good looking and is those bone-y type of guys then.
Something about him really attracted me and made me really curious about him
Even though,in my group, im always with my own group of friend like joesph and never actually talk to him through out the camp.
But, he made me feel very secured for no reason. how silly im then.

I remember when we were playing a game called survivor{/i think?}
we were to find food, water and create fire and shelter.
he was the one who created shelter which made me very impress at THAT TIME.
not now though, cause, now i remember the shelter he made is very very small.
which i find it silly now. hahas.
and for me, i hate to walk around so, i created fire, actually we dont really need to create the real fire just only need to act that there is a fire. But, i still created a fire, and i was asked by the instructor whether im from uniformed group. but, i said no, im from band which i thought it is quite lame..
but, that time i actually thought i could attract some attention from him.
through out the whole camp, the one i notice is only him.

after the camp,
i showed my interests to him with my friends.
and eventually got spread to his class and friends.
that time, he was in 2e1. the best class in the cohort that why i show even more interest in him cause i think he is really smart. Even though, he got into 3e3 the next year until now, i still think he is very smart, never study also can get my ideal results. >.<

okay, that not the point.
for two years, im made fun of by his friends.
but, i dont mind though, cause, at least, he will notice me and im rather used to it.
whenever i walked passed him, i will just walk quickly to prevent awkwardness.
when we were put in chinese class though banding, i really really hope we could be the same class but, im in grp5 while he is in grp4 and his classroom is like so far away from mine.
At the second round of banding, he got the same exam results for chinese as me then i still thought he might be the same class as me again. but, he didnt again. he dropped two class to grp 6 and i remained the same and the girls in my class when to grp6. only left me and jacelyn in grp 5. but, group 6 is opposite of my classroom. that why my chinese always failed i think.

until Sec 4.
i tried to pretend as if i dont care about him anymore
and i would sit far far away from him in order not to see him.
But, i dont know why. when i dont want to see him, he always appeared.
and i have to pretend that im not hurt and would walk pass him like nothing happened.
which i think i can act very well cause, everyone really thought i gave up on him.
but, it is just that, i dont want him to feel burden anymore.
i wanted him to be happier.
but sometimes, i would walk pass the soccer field which i loved to play soccer there just to take a look at him without getting noticed.
or during art lesson i would go out of the classroom and see him play soccer but, pretend to be spraying my art work.
sometimes, i would cry but, i would never cry in front of him.
i will only act brave in front of him.

then only time he saw me crying because of him is
when he is back to take his exam result this year.
i guess i just cant help it and i spoiled the plan of pretending not to like him anymore.
how silly...
i just thought i wont be seeing him anymore and felt upset.

but one day, he shocked me by smsing me to meet up.
i thought it was a prank actually and even discussed with my friends whether to reply him.
but, it wasnt a prank though.

So, when i met up with him,
that is actually the very first time i actually talk to him after 2 years plus.
and i actually spend 2 years plus for an hour with him. how silly right?
he said i wasted 2 years waiting for him. but, now it is already the 3rd year.
and i regreted that i did not tell him how i felt through out the 2 years.
and i even lied to him that i found someone better already.
but, that guy dont even exist.
why cant i just tell him how i felt
and pretending to be strong?

i missed the chance to tell him everything.
and there isnt another chance anymore.

but now, im getting over it.
even though, he is still in my heart.
but, i believe that it is just that i have not find someone better than him.
and i will one day.

even my people tell me that he isnt that good anymore or whatever.
but, in my heart,
he is still perfect. (:

and 5th July will always be an important day of my life.