Many people asked why i look so upset and restless this few days.

it is because i have been thinking alots this few days.
and while i think, im starting to hate the present kelly now, or rather KAILI.

i just felt im totally changed person,
Someone who is always pretending to be someone im not.
Always pretending to be nice to other people and helping other people..
Although, being nice or helping other people is a good thing to do, but, it is just not so me.
because, im feeling that even to those people that i dislike, i have to pretend to be nice.
AND those people are going overboard for my nonchalant attitude toward things they did, and somehow it makes them think it is the right thing to do and starting to take things for granted.
Toward school friends or outside friend are all the same.
I just feels that im always not allowed to say how mispleased i am
because i doesnt want offend people.

and i shall admit im someone who is very image concern.
Im very afraid to throw 'face' in public. VERY VERY VERY afraid.
Sometimes, I do get irritated when people throw my 'face' when they are with me.
And i dont like people do no image action when with me. PARTICULARLY, I HATE IT!
Because people who dont know me well will think im like that person so no image which im not!
I know im very fake when it come to image, but, this is me? and of course, i wont go jumping around like a monkey and acting like a kid anymore because im already 17!

and, somehow i dont understand why some people just isnt appreciative, it is not that i think i should be appreciated when i do something. Just that when they do something for you, they just expected you to appreciate them as if they are like god. if not, they will repeat and repeat what they did for you! I dont need people to appreciate what i did though, because bbt's HIRO say do good deed for people dont need to show out then god will reward you.

i dont know lah.
this entries concern many many people which i cant be able to list out.
This is just what i think from the bottom of my heart which in reality i could not be able to express out what i feel.
& i certainly hope that no one will come asking me about this lorh.
If you think i might be writing about you, you might as well as think why you think im writing about you, need not me to say too much le. i really got nothing to say anymore.
Just treat it as i dont wanna face reality bah. Cause it is just too difficult already.
I have no confident and courage to look into this problem.

anyways, thanks someone for listening to me when im frustrated and sharing your story too.
Oh well, all i can say is TOLERENCE IS MY VIRTUE, but soon, it will not le. Cause, my tolerence is limiting. And Im getting fed up already. REALLY REALLY!
and i got a lot better things to do. (: